A lot many things come easier to me than posting on my blog as frequently as thrice a month. Nevertheless, finding one’s blog in the dark, forgotten abyss of others’ blogroll is not in the least comforting. Out of the desperation to post something… anything, and the inability to come up with anything decent, I have resorted to relating an incident – compromising my hard-earned reputation for the sake of some comments.
April Fool’s Day is quite over-rated. I mean, why would somebody bother to play pranks on the day when it’s most obvious? Well… unless you do it with panache. And here’s an instance of how it’s done (Don’t forget to check out the comments!). Not everybody, though, needs an exclusive day to make an oaf out of people. Now I’m no street-rat from Agrabah; I, nevertheless, am adequately endowed with street-smartness. Or so I liked to believe, until that fateful day….
One fine morning I alighted from the bus right at Atta, the heart of Noida. Completely preoccupied with crossing the road, I soon found myself amidst three ascetics. They certainly didn’t make for a very attractive sight, with their dread-locks and retro-looks. The snakes wrapped around their forearm weren’t making them appear any less terrifying either. So, it was natural that I forgot all my courtesies and tried to keep as much distance as possible from those seemingly dead serpents. The ‘ascetics’ on the other hand felt it their obligation to bless me, and so it came to pass that I was found cornered against the barricades near the Delhi Metro construction site, fighting (pleading would have been more like it) my way out.
Their initial attempts to squeeze money out of me, met a formidable opposition. I cleverly fished into the deep recesses of my pocket to draw out some meager change. Unfortunately, a five rupee coin was the least I had (talk about getting lucky!). Quickly handing it over to those ‘sages’, I attempted to flee. The fate, it seems, had other plans! They asked me to draw out some ‘big bucks’. The leader of the pack vehemently swore by the names of a dozen deities that he had no intention of keeping that money. I, ofcourse, wasn’t going to be taken in that easily. Though, the philanthropist in me, well…. It would suffice to say that my hands withdrew my wallet and voila! There I was holding out a crispy hundred. The Alpha-male apparently fell in love with my money because soon he asked for another hundred. Now I was definitely not going to give him that, especially after the way he had snatched the previous note! So it came as a surprise to me when I offered him another hundred (More reluctantly than the last time though). After all, from what he told me, he just wanted to pair the two hundred rupee notes – such noble intentions, by the looks of it! I guess, that really got them interested in me, beacause he began inquiring about my ambitions. However lame it sounded, I managed to blurt out all the info he was seeking. Incidentally, His Holiness had been gifted with amazing sight in addition to his unconventional looks and exceptional eloquence. The five hundred lying inconspicuously in my wallet could not remain hidden for long. Needless to say, that soon passed into his hands, too. After asking me to repeat after him certain dumb lines, he touched the money to the snake’s mouth and poof! the seven hundred just vanished.
If you have watched cartoons, you may be familiar with those instances when a character realizes that he has been tricked. He has this pitiable expression of the revelation that struck him, and a thought bubble that has a jackass labelled ‘JACKASS’. Well, that is exactly how I was feeling. The jerk then handed me a rudraksh, which I suspect was just as fake as them and assured me that all my troubles are going to be consumed by that snake (just like it ate all my friggin’ money – a huge appetite, i might add!). All my threats and pleads were useless. As I withdrew from the scene, a wise rick-puller decided to fill me in with his tid-bits. I was enlightened to the fact that those rascals had duped a guy of one whole grand a while ago (So, I wasn’t alone!) and that he had to approach a nearby cop to recover the sum. Now, only the heavens above know, whether it was the mention of the cops or a delayed effect of my pleadings, but the guy heading the pack returned my five hundred rupee note. That infused me with a fresh desire to retrieve what was rightfully mine! As I insisted for the remaining balance, the guy just hushed me and started nibbling at the snake’s skin. That freaked me out so much that all of a sudden the two hundred began appearing insignificant. And so, parted our ways. End of story.
PS: My first P.S. for my blog. (sob!sob!)
PPS: (No, I’m not gonna write anything like: ‘My first P.P.S. …’) Please try and empathize with my situation before commenting – I was just too restless to get out of the situation. I was taken by surprise and outnumbered! Odds were against me!…
